Daily Practice

I, just as anyone else, knows the importance of practice. Practice makes you better. I've adapted a daily yoga practice, some days are longer and more vigorous than other but practice none the less. I'm an assistant college lacrosse coach and I spend much of my days planning for practice. Practicing to become better is something I do professionally and personally. But what about the non physical practices?
I'm currently going to school for my masters degree in Professional and School Counseling. A profession based on the trust and relationships. Am I a trust-worthy person? ... just as I typed those words I realized, people may trust me, but am I worthy of their trust. My difficulty lies in my overly trusting nature. I trust everyone, with a lot of things. I don't mind sharing my day to day information, or even personal information with people. I don't feel I have a lot to hide and I like the idea of people knowing me personally. However, because I'm open with my life, those who are in my life also get spoken about and shared. Am I betraying trust? I wonder if those who don't speak about themselves or don't share about themselves are the best secret keepers?
There is a difference between a person maliciously and deliberately sharing the intimate details of another person and me absent mindedly sharing my stories who involve other people.
I've always believed I had a good sense of judgement in determining what information should be kept private and what information was okay to share, as it might be public information. But is that even my choice to make?
Just as I practice handstands on a daily basis I am going to practice my trust-worthiness. With that, I always feel the urge to relate to a persons story. You went on a trip to the Bahamas? I've been to Bermuda! Not everything needs to relate back to me and my experiences. And thus, I don't need to share all the details of my experiences and who was with me and what they said and what they did.
It's a daily practice to be better. I want to be a better person, a better friend, a better future counselor and that comes with trust. Knowing that if you tell me something, or we share something; its not going to become the worlds business.... Unless its something really really cool, then I'm sorry everyone just has to know!

Firstly, Happy New Year
It's been a while since I've written a blog but it's seemed like I haven't known what to say. So much has happened in these last few months that it's been difficult for me to process it all and then write about it. But its the new year and I want to hold my self accountable for my new years resolutions and how appropriate but to write about for all the world to see. Before I decide what my new goals are going to be for this year I want to end this past year on good terms and recap all the things I've learned in the past year!
Lessons of 2014
1) Don't let the miseries of yesterday affect the wonders of today. I spent a lot of this year wishing I was somewhere else or counting down the days until I graduated or until I came home. I feel as if this year was just a series of days crossed off the calendar. How awful is that? The situations may not have been ideal but I've done enough moving to realize I'm only in one particular place for a short period of time and I need to enjoy my time more. I may not be with my boyfriend everyday right now but I need to be okay with being alone instead of counting the days I see him next.
2) The world needs more naive people. There have been tragedies and heartbreaking moments this year and it's taken its toll on us. I feel I've been getting into more and more arguments with people defending the good and sincere people in the world. We have become so focused on our own success, safety and well being that we forget there are people who are less fortunate than us and there are people less educated than us. I don't blame a race, culture, gender or generation for the problems in the world. Call me sheltered but I believe there is still so much good in the world and I believe the in the good in everybody. I had no reason to fear walking the streets of Buffalo at night or now that I have an apartment close to Ferguson, Missouri. The world hasn't given me a reason to think otherwise so I've learned to keep believing and defending the good people.
3) Family matters. I've been fortunate to be close with my family but this past year I've realized how much I need them and how I'm not ashamed at all that my mom is my best girlfriend or how much I depend on my family. Your family will always love you and there is such honestly and security with your family. I've also realized your family isn't just the people who are blood related they are the people are unconditionally there for you.
4) Say sorry. I won't for one second deny that I can't be stubborn and difficult at times but somewhere in this past year I started saying sorry and truly meaning it. I'm grateful for realizing how important it is to tell someone that your sorry. Sorry for loss, sorry for the way you made them feel, sorry for the situation. I'm still struggling with the realization that not everyone else has had this epiphany! This is going to be on my list of new years resolutions but I have to be okay with someone not apologizing to me when I feel they should or if I apologize for something, the other person may not always apologize back... and thats okay. I'd rather a few sincere apologies then a lot of fake ones.
5) Follow your heart. I've always been one to please other people and be worried about how others think of me and this is always a factor in my decision making. What will other people say? Will someone else be upset if I made this decision? And I've realized I can't live that way. I can't be concerned about other people all the time, because when it comes down to it other people aren't going to make their important decisions based on me, so I can't make mine based off them.

Now it's time for my resolutions for 2015!
1) Do more yoga, in all aspects. I have physical goals that I want to accomplish in yoga but I also want to study yoga more.
2) Be kinder.
3) I've just recently started comparing my relationship to other couples around me and then in turn questioning the strength of the relationship I'm in. This is not a path I want to travel down. Every relationship is different with it's own wonders and flaws.
4) Eat healthier... all the time! When I'm away at my place I eat and shop healthy but when I'm home I let myself eat pizza and junk, immediately followed by regrets!
5) Spend more time with my grandparents. I'm not home very often but when I am I need to put aside the time to spend it with my grandma and my papa.. I grew up having 4 grandparents. Now I only have two and I need to appreciate the time I have left with them.
6) Love more.
7) Make more decisions in 2015 for me!
8) Be a better daughter, granddaughter, sister, girlfriend and puppy Mom!
9) Make a difference. I want to be responsible for making a difference in someones life this year, however big or small I want to make a positive change in someones life.
10) Be happy. This may be the most important. In 2015 I want to be the happiest I've ever been!


I have no idea where these next 361 days are going to take me and I love this surprise!
I hope to anyone that reads this your year is full of blessings and happiness.

xo
Live. Love. Namaste